A pirate walks into a bar and sits down at the counter. He has a peg leg, a hooked hand, and an eyepatch.

The bartender looks up at him and asks, "Hey, what happened to your leg?"

The pirate responded, "Well I was fishing one day, and a shark bit my leg off."

Then the bartender asked, "Okay. Well, what happened to your hand?"

The pirate answered, "Oh, well, I got in a fight with another pirate, and he chopped my hand off."

That's when the bartender asked, "Well, what happened to your eye?"

To which the pirate responded, "Oh, a bird pooped in my eye."

Shocked, the bartender asked, "You lost your eye because of that?"

The pirate answered quickly with a, "Yeah, first day with my hook."